I decided to take a quick break from LOL’ing at the everyday silliness of Argentina to focus on the Korea. Since I’m probably the only Californian living in Argentina and visiting Seoul at the moment, I feel like I have free game to speak my mind. Fair?
Turns out Koreans like to use English, more than Argentines even, but speak significantly less of it. This is made more frustrating by the fact that they will guide you just enough to lure you into a sense of security and then completely abandon you. Two signs in English so you know you’re headed in the right direction, and then no more guidance to be found once you know you’re close. All restaurant propaganda in English, but no English menu. Deep sigh.
Here are some examples of the fantastic English phrases Koreans have inserted into Seoul…
This is a beverage sold at every kiosk. I don’t know what a Pocari is, but unless it’s a unicorn or a wizard, i’m not sure about drinking it’s sweat…
Perfect name. I think i need a champon from chicken doo…
Magarrrrzine holder. A magazine holder for pirates.
Usually you just advertise the “beer and whiskey” and the singles follow, but i like that they eliminated all doubt. Don’t worry Singles Beer Whiskey bar, i’ll be back for you.
Parents, line up to send your child to this “body friend!” He looks a little bit like a doctor and a lot bit like a prison sentenced child molester.
This is what all consultants who travel through Chicago during winter say after a 32 hour layover.
Not exhibition! Just fun & joy! This should have been the slogan at the Venture/Start Up conference we attended all weekend…
Korean condoms. This is a test men… do you want to be a fluffy tiny with pink heart cheeks, or a fierce tiger? For only $500 won more…
I mean, two things I like. Generally one creates the need for the other, but maybe Korea just maximizes efficiency?
Slightly less normal combination, but I guess I prefer my coffee seated and with a table…
We wanted to do English, but we just weren’t sure how to say what we wanted to fall into fall with!
Note: I think they’re trying to say “falling in love with fall” but that’s just American logic, who knows what i’ve been missing.
Anyone need a kolon tune up? Or would you rather us not mix your car with your… kolon?
This is what I’m going to start calling my dinner to all my carb-free friends.
This guy’s face really just looks like hapiness delight. Which I want to sing, to the tune of “afternoon delight.”
Really isn’t more to it than that.
Tastes a touch like butternut squash soup, and lots like a mass dose of cream and sugar. Comes with actual pieces of potato in it, which is alarming until you realize it means you can write the whole cream-and-sugar bomb off as a superfood. Win! And I suppose we do “pumpkin spice” lattes, which is essentially the same idea. Though we do keep it to a light spice, not chunks. But Koreans love boba, so I guess they don’t descriminate between liquids and solids in their beverages.
Nothing to say about this except… pure brilliance. I’ve been waiting my whole life for an excuse to never move my head and call it a productive day. I love you.
The Tranqui Yanki 